The decision to become a foster carer is a very significant one, but it’s one that adults often make without considering the impact it will have on the lives of the children within their family. Fostering is a 24-7 job and will not only affect you as the foster carer but also your own children. They will share both the challenges and the rewards that come with fostering a vulnerable child. For this reason it is vitally important that you discuss fostering as a family and the decision to proceed is taken only after every family member has been consulted.

Children will often initially be quite enthusiastic about the idea of having another child join the family but may have unrealistic expectations of how a foster child will fit into their lives and not fully understand the dysfunctional backgrounds they have experienced and the level of disruption this may initially cause. Children also have to become accustomed to ‘sharing’ their parent(s) and in reality this may be a difficult situation to accept, so spending regular quality time with your children is really important.

Experience has shown that fostering children of a different age to your birth children may reduce potential issues of competition for attention. For example, if you have a child of 15 yrs you may want to ensure that he/she remains the oldest child by a couple of years to avoid any issues of ‘competing’ between birth and foster children. It may therefore be wise to consider an approval range of 7-13 yrs.

Our advice is to talk to your children both before and regularly throughout the application process, and to make a point of having frequent discussions about how being a foster family may be affecting you all and how current problems or difficulties can be addressed.

If you need more advice, visit our FAQ page or alternatively contact us and we will be only to happy to answer any questions you may have.