Many people when asked about becoming a foster carer will say ‘Oh I couldn’t bear to let the children go!’ and it is true that this can be a very difficult aspect of the foster carer role.

Fostering is not a permanent arrangement and children will, one day move on whether to their birth family, an adoptive placement or another foster placement . This could be after months or years so the feelings associated with this can vary in intensity. In order to establish a successful foster placement you will be expected to welcome a child into your home and family and to build strong attachment of trust with your foster child. The focus on the leaving process tends to focus on the foster carers feelings but what should also be remembered is that for some children, their foster placement and foster carers will be the first stability they have experienced and the prospect of leaving care can lead to fears of future rejection by adults whom they once again need to build relationships with.
The feelings of both you as a foster carer and your foster child need to be managed as you support your foster child as they move on to a new placement.

It is important to realise that the feelings you experience as a foster carer may be somewhat mixed. Although there will be some sadness that a child you have built relationships and bonds with is moving on, there may also be some feelings of relief. Foster children come from disrupted backgrounds and managing their behaviour can be a challenge to you and your family and it is natural to feel some relief to return to the status quo; these feelings are entirely natural.

Your Supervising Social Worker will be on hand during this time to offer you support in managing these feelings through regular visits and monthly supervision. Hopefully there will be opportunities to prepare both you and your foster child for the end of the placement but on occasions placement may end abruptly and it is important to recognise the emotions this may bring.